Ship All The Rest Of The World
by Inexplicable Cat
Summary: Tweek is getting these weird, new feelings, Clyde is oblivious as always, Token plays matchmaker and Craig just wants to watch porn with his 'fake' boyfriend.


"Why don't you guys ever kiss?"

"Oh my God, Token! You can't just ask people why they don't kiss!"

"It's a legitimate question Clyde, you dumbass. I mean, you guys have been together for what? Seven years?" Token addressed his friends while they were all sitting together at their regular lunch table.

"Y-Yeah," Tweek nodded looking suspiciously alarmed. Craig just raised his middle finger, the same ol' apathetic expression on his face.

"Well, in all this time," Token continued, his tone of voice reaching new levels of authoritative like he discovered the truth of the universe or something, "I have never seen you kiss. Not once. And I'm not talking about sloppy, tongue-in-each-others-throats kisses." Tweek cringed at that and Craig rolled his eyes but both of those reactions weren't enough to dishearten Token, who went on with his theories.

"I mean, I get it. Maybe, you are not fans of PDA, totally understandable. But not even a simple, small peck on the lips? As a greeting or something?"

"Man, what's wrong with you today? Would you please get off their case?" Clyde intervened again, coming to their rescue, reinstating his position as the self-appointed president of the Craig and Tweek fanclub. He would never admit it to anyone, of course, but he even kept those old yaoi pictures of them that the Asians girls drew, once upon a time. He bought a dozen when he and his father had visited the Craig x Tweek art market and he was still holding on to them, safely tucked away into his old Superman tin lunch box along with other memorabilia, like his fake earring from his pirating days or a copy of that stupid list where he was voted the cutest boy in their class that Bebe provided to him when they were still dating. No matter how many times his friends and classmates tried to point out to him that the list was fabricated, Clyde refused to believe the truth that was staring him in the face, maintaining (in his own mind mostly) the title of number one, most handsome guy in their school, pretty lovable human being and whatever else 'delusion' was plaguing him each week, as Craig was kindly putting it.

Anyway, he was still treasuring his Craig x Tweek pictures, even after all these years, partly because he was rooting for his best friends' romance since elementary school and partly because he cherished all his small possessions that reminded him of his father's struggles to bond with him by doing things together, after the death of his mother.

He would even have held onto the small gun, his father procured for him, during that ridiculous ad-threatening, gun-adoring phase their whole joke of a town went through, but apparently giving a gun to a ten year old is frowned upon so it was confiscated when that particular phase ended.

"What are you trying to prove, anyway?" Clyde resumed their conversation.

"I'm not trying to prove anything. I'm simply stating some facts."

Tweek was watching the entire exchange, which was rapidly evolving into a nerve-shattering one, because Token's implications were hitting too close to home. He and Craig had been living the dream, faking a relationship since the fourth grade, one that everyone else pressured them into if you think about it, and they were not inclined one bit to just give it all up.

Their bogus relationship was a convenient and profitable lie, which they weaved masterfully over the years, one that accommodated both of them with small treats like how they got to spend so much time together, a little pleasure in and of itself, without people questioning their, either way, closeness. And they got to touch each other, hold hands and the like, without provoking the small-mindedness of a town as redneck-ish as South Park. And, the best part of all; they were milking their parents out of unreasonable amounts of allowance money, in order to 'spend time with their boyfriends', 'buy Valentine's gifts', etc etc.

But Tweek was now internally agonizing that their creation wasn't that masterful after all, since Token was spouting his suspicions, something that had to be nipped at the bud and since his 'boyfriend' was too busy staring at the white, plastic table, his head rested on his right palm, trying to bore the poor piece of furniture to death, it was up to him to defend their honor.

"W-Well, you got your facts wrong, man!"

Upon hearing his strained voice, Craig lifted his boring gaze, probably feeling like it was time to intervene and simply prompted "Tweek calm down."

Tweek shot him a frustrating look, one that was screaming 'help me out here man,' but Craig just shrugged indifferently and went back to examining the fascinating complexities of a completely white plastic table.

"No. I don't think so. I know for sure that _I_ have never seen you kiss. What about you Clyde?

Clyde looked like Token's question had caught him off guard, especially because now that he was thinking about it he wasn't so sure that he had ever observed his friends doing things all the regular couples were doing. Well, if you don't count the hand holding, that is.

Did he _ever_ see them kiss? Well, there was that time at Bebe's party.

Clyde's face lit up. "Yes!" He exclaimed so loudly that it earned them a few stares. "They kissed at Bebe's party! You were there, dude. You saw it."

Token appeared thoughtful for a second, making Tweek hopelessly assuming that he was about to drop the subject but then a knowing smirk appeared on his friend's face and Tweek braced himself for the worst.

"That was when we were playing 'Truth or Dare', dude. It doesn't count," he said triumphantly.

Luckily, their lunch break was coming to an end by that point, robbing Token out of the chance to explore his theory in depth and allowing Tweek to sigh in relief.

* * *

Like pretty much every other day, Tweek was working at the coffee shop after school till 8pm. It was currently 6:20 and he was counting the minutes till his break at half past six. His father was really strict when it came to keeping the timetable and pretty much with everything else involving the coffee shop. Allowing Tweek to get off work even five minutes earlier, on a slow day, was inconceivable. So when, out of the corner of his eye, Tweek spotted a familiar figure approaching the counter, he was actually grateful for his father's ceremoniousness cause if he was allowed to take a break even ten minutes earlier then he wouldn't have any excuses to avoid talking to his meddler of a friend.

Token was standing in front of him, an unreadable expression on his face as he was ordering his regular double cappuccino.

"Uh, Would you like anything else, sir?" Tweek secretly hoped that by adopting the most formal tone he could manage, he would discourage Token from trying to interact with him further, indicating that he was really busy or whatever.

Unfortunately the rich boy was the persistent type, not easily deterred "No, I'll just wait till your break, I wanna talk to you."

"Oh, okay," Tweek surrendered to his fate. After ten minutes of messing up the simplest orders, under the scrutinizing look of his friend, who was standing at the corner, balancing his coffee on a wall counter and sipping it occasionally, Tweek delivered his final one, silently sought his father's nod of approval and then he took off his work apron and headed for the back door. Token followed him, receiving a peculiar stare from Tweek's father behind the counter, who was probably disapproving of his son's socializing with other boys, not in the presence of his 'boyfriend'.

When they were outside, Tweek immediately slumped down on the metallic bench beside the large trashcans and Token sat beside him. They remained silent for a few moments, Token still taking small sips of his coffee and Tweek staring at the snow covered mountain tops in the distance, until the tension between them became unbearable.

"So," started Tweek "did you come here to enlighten me further on my _own_ relationship?"

Token winced "Hey man, first of all I'm really sorry for putting you on the spot like that today."

Tweek turned to look at him. "Yeah, what was that all about?"

Token sighed "It's just that, sometimes, I feel like you guys are hiding something from us. And I hate it, Tweek. I really do." He paused, staring at his hands, still clutching the now empty cup. Tweek frowned. "You mean, Craig and I? What do you think we are hiding from you, man?"

"I don't know! And it drives me crazy sometimes because you guys are my best friends. You and that idiot Clyde, who of course doesn't share my feelings. But then again, Clyde is not the poster boy for insight."

Tweek, despite the fact that he hated the way the conversation was going, couldn't help but chuckling a bit at that.

"I mean, your relationship just feels...off. Somehow. I know, I'm not making much sense now but that's how I feel," Token continued. "Maybe, I'm wrong of course. Maybe, you are asexuals or something, which is totally cool by the way." At that point he averted his gaze from his palms and stared at Tweek sharply. "But, it's like, I tell you guys everything. You and Craig and stupid Clyde. You know everything about me. I feel like you are keeping me in the dark about something, that you don't _trust_ me enough to tell me what the hell is going on. And I hate it. I really _really_ hate it."

Token wasn't the brooding, stoic type like Craig, nor was he the happy-go-lucky, chattering type like Clyde. He was somewhere in the middle, keeping the balance, restoring the peace and all that and Tweek had always admired that about him. His composure was something he would never achieve in this or any other life.

And that's why, when he saw him like that, pouring all of his never before expressed fears all over him, Tweek couldn't stand it. Thinking about him being the cause of Token's current state of distress, was equivalent to Tweek like being the culprit of upsetting the balance of the world. And that's why he did what he did right then.

He told Token the truth.

"Y-You are not mistaken," he said shaking his head and staring into his friend's eyes. "We have been keeping something from you guys."

Token's eyes widened at that and his expression hardened a little. Tweek was determined, though, to finally be honest with his friend. "We are not really in a relationship. We are faking it." Token opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words, something extremely rare for his rich friend, so Tweek continued. "We have been faking it since fourth grade, actually. We realized how happy everyone was about our relationship, how _our_ relationship made people happy and we couldn't bear the thought of being the cause of the town's misery."

"So, you are pretending to be boyfriends in order to keep everyone else happy?" Tweek nodded and his gaze fell to the ground. Token was dumbfounded. Several scenarios had been strolling through his head, since he started obsessing over his friends' relationship but nothing so preposterous.

"But why, man? I mean, why keep up the pretense until now? It's been ages since that yaoi drawing phase that spurred the whole thing."

"It has its perks. And, I guess, we actually like it this way," Tweek admitted, surprising even himself.

Token raised an eyebrow at that "You like pretending to be boyfriends?"

Tweek shrugged "It's nice. When he holds my hand, and when he hang out together, or sleep at each other's houses. You know, Craig is not really as boring as he appears. He makes me laugh like all the time. And I never laugh, man! I'm too worried about things most of the time. Oh and that too. He makes me worry less about stuff. He is relaxing."

Token burst out laughing. "Craig Tucker is relaxing? Well, this is something you don't hear everyday!" he said between chuckles.

"Shut up, he is," Tweek bumped his shoulder, grinning. But then, he started blushing, like there was something else hidden there, inside the dark complexities of his mind, something that had never come out in the sunlight before and it wanted to. It desperately wanted to.

"And I think that maybe, possibly, I like him too."

Token stopped laughing.

"You mean, _like_ like him?"

Tweek bit the inside of his cheek and breathed out "Yeah." He sighed deeply, dropping his head against the back of their seat "I-I mean like I think I'm physically attracted to him. Jesus Christ, man! Most of the time I have to stop myself from kissing his face off of him!"

"Dude! That doesn't sound like pretending to me!"

"Well, it still is. I mean, he is definitely pretending and I just go along with it, I guess. Cause I'm pathetic like that and I don't want to lose what we already have!" Tweek lifted his arms in the air exasperated, as if he was cursing the skies for making him want something he could never have.

"You should tell him, man." Token's voice brought him back to the mundane ground of reality.

"I can't do that. I thought about it. But I can't."

"Why the hell not? He might like you back. He might feel exactly like you do and he is just not confining his feelings to anyone cause he's Craig Tucker. Talking in more than three words sentences puts a strain on him."

Tweek chuckled again with Token's descriptions of their friend and object of his unrequited affections but almost immediately his cheerful expression turned into a more somber one.

"It's not just that I'm afraid," he explained "I'm uncertain too."

"What do you mean?" Token asked.

"I mean that I'm not sure if I really have a crush on him or it's just my mind playing tricks on me after all those years of being in an imposed relationship with him."

Token appeared thoughtful for a moment. "Like a completely fucked up case of Stockholm Syndrome where the actual captor is the whole freaking town that pressured you into it…" he murmured to himself, balancing his empty cup on the bench next to him.

Tweek rolled his eyes. "Don't psychoanalyze me, Token. I get enough of that from Dr. Norris."

Token blushed "Sorry dude. I was just thinking out loud. So, what does your therapist have to say about all this?" he inquired further.

Tweek sighed "Dr. Norris thinks I should trust my feelings more." His lips started curling up in a small smirk and shot Token a jaunty look. "He is a lot like you actually, telling me I should confess to Craig and all that."

Token felt an inexplicable surge of pride flowing through him at that "See, I told you that was the best possible course of action."

But Tweek didn't look entirely convinced yet. "T-The thing is, man, that I'm not entirely sure I'm even…" he trailed off for a second, sighing deeply and averting his gaze from Token's prying eyes "…you know, _sexually_ attracted to him," he finally hissed like the words themselves were an anathema.

His whole expression, combined with the graveness in which he uttered his concerns, was pretty entertaining; nose scrunched upwards, a panicking look in his eyes and it made Token want to soothe his friend and burst out laughing at the same time.

When he realized, though, that Tweek had started picking at his cuticles, actually drawing blood from the left side of his thumb, every thought of laughter vanished from his mind.

"Dude, calm down!" Token urged and Tweek turned to look at him so abruptly that he widened his eyes instinctively.

"How am I supposed to do that, man?" Tweek exclaimed. "I mean, that's what you do when you like someone, right? You wanna…" he waved his arm vaguely into the air "…do stuff with them."

"I thought you said you _do_ want to kiss him."

"I do! But that's pretty much it. And even that comes to me in a more affectionate kind of way," Tweek huffed frustrated.

Token grabbed hold of his shoulders in order to steady him because a slight shaking had started rushing through his friend's body and looked him straight in the eye.

"Tweek, listen to me," Token ordered so firmly that caused his anxious friend to noticeably tense and stare at him. "That is not always the case, you know," Token started explaining. "Sometimes you could truly be in love with someone but don't want to be intimate with them," he stated and his scholarly tone, the way he uttered the words love and intimate so casually, so like pointing out an obvious truth of the world, made Tweek relax almost instantly. And that's how Token restored the balance of their microcosm once more.

"Y-yeah. I guess you're right, Toke," Tweek admitted and allowed a small smile to appear at the corners of his mouth. He checked his watch and realized that his fifteen minute break was coming to an end and he abruptly stood up cause he surely wasn't in the mood for one of his dad's lectures eternally sprinkled with ghastly metaphors.

"I don't know, man. Just think about it," Token encouraged while getting up himself and throwing his empty cap in the nearest trash can "you'll figure out what these feelings are eventually, something will definitely happen and you'll be able to see things more clearly."

Tweek bit his lower lip thoughtfully "Hope it won't be anything too stressful," he wished.

* * *

The following days passed with relatively normalcy. Token would ask from time to time if there have been any progress on the Craig front but Tweek would just shake his head, lowering his gaze at his feet as if he was embarrassed of his lack of decisive action.

Moreover, Token made a habit of dropping by during Tweek's break at the coffee shop and discussing things with him. Tweek's father would always shoot him nasty glances, probably suspecting there was something more going on between his son and this guy, who definitely wasn't Craig Tucker, the only person in the world allowed to hang out so much with their son, according to the Tweak's rules for basic proprieties.

Then, on a school night, Craig asked Tweek to come over after his shift in order to watch a show on his computer or play video games. More like Craig playing the latest space stimulator game and Tweek fretting over how to tell him he had feelings for him. If he even had said feelings at all.

But denying Craig's request would have been slightly suspicious so Tweek braced himself for another evening of pure frustration and knocked on the Tucker's front door.

Craig's mom opened the door almost immediately and a fond smile appeared on her face upon realizing it was his son's 'boyfriend'.

"Hello Tweek! Craig is in his room, would you like anything to eat, sweetie?"

"N-no, thank you Mrs. Tucker," Tweek replied as he was stepping inside the house. Even after all those years he couldn't help but cringe lightly when he had to interact with Craig's parents, especially with his mom, who was always so nice to him. Sometimes he felt guilty about lying to her, as well as to his own parents, but couldn't bring himself to admit the truth to them. It wasn't just about the benefits of their fake relationship that they were enjoying. He genuinely believed that their parents were better off not knowing the truth. He could picture in his mind the long hours his dad would spend crying over the abominable revelation that his son wasn't really in a 'gay relationship' with the Tucker boy. The only one of them that might have felt actually relieved was, Tweek was suspecting, Craig's father. Tweek wasn't convinced that he was as accepting of their relationship as he was letting out. Speaking of whom…

"Is Mr. Tucker home? I should say hi."

Craig's mom shook her head "No dear, he is at Skeeter's."

That was a relief. He couldn't handle Thomas Tucker right now, especially if he were about to tell his son he was actually gay for him.

"Oh. Okay. I should go upstairs."

"Call me if you boys need anything," Craig's mom gave him a last smile before going back to watching TV.

Once he was in the upstairs corridor that led to the bedrooms, Tweek noticed that there was music coming from Ruby's room, some kind of girly music thirteen year old girls are obsessing over, driving their big brothers mad. Still, Tweek wished once again that he had had a little sister. Or a bigger one. Or a big brother, or any kind of sibling so he wouldn't have felt so alone and so scared growing up. One that could have dealt with his parent's bullshit and that would have protected him against all those nasty, evil things that were out to get him.

He knocked at Craig's door but opened it without waiting for a reply. Craig was sitting at his desk, playing 'Faster Than Light', his tongue sticking out of his mouth. Again Tweek observed how adorable his friend looked when he was in deep concentration but quickly shook those thoughts from his mind.

Craig cocked his head towards the bed, gesturing for Tweek to sit down, without taking his mind from the screen. Tweek knew the drill by now, so he slumped down on the bed, taking his English textbook out of his messenger back and opening it in front of him. He might as well do his homework until Craig was ready to pause the game or whatever.

About ten minutes later Craig sat next to him on the bed, taking his hat off.

"Do you wanna watch an episode of 'Jessica Jones'? I hear it's pretty cool," he asked Tweek.

"S-sure man," Tweek replied. He was stalling. His confidence, which was sparking up after every single conversation with Token, was starting to abandon him. And he still wasn't entirely sure about his feelings.

Craig put on the episode and resumed his position at Tweek's left side. He propped his pillow against the wall so they could lean their backs against it, their feet hanging slightly from the edge of the bed.

When the intro turned up Tweek realized he couldn't do it. He couldn't confess to Craig; not only was it too much pressure but he just couldn't risk endangering their current relationship for something that was so vague and unshaped in his mind. Luckily the episode was in fact pretty good so it distracted Tweek in the way only superhero things that he loved so much, could.

After it was over, they remained silent for a few moments until Craig asked "so, what do you want to do now?"

Tweek checked his watch, it was 9:50. "Oh man, it's getting late. I should go," he stated.

"We could watch porn."

Tweek turned his head so swiftly towards his friend that his neck gave a loud crack, and almost shrieked " _what?"_

"I discovered this yesterday actually," Craig said while he was standing up and reaching for his keyboard "it's the hottest thing I've ever seen."

Okay. Who was that guy and what had he done with Craig Tucker. Tweek had never heard Craig talking about watching porn before. In fact the only time he saw him even looking at naked girls was when Clyde would bring the latest Playboy issue at school and he and Kenny made everyone skim through its pages.

When Craig was back sitting at his previous spot, he finally turned to look at Tweek, who was staring at him, wide-eyed, shocked and overall terrified.

"You don't want to?" he inquired "it's only twenty minutes long," he added as if that would persuade him. Tweek wasn't at all convinced; it didn't matter to him if the porn video Craig was so keen on them watching lasted twenty minutes or twenty seconds. It still felt weird. It felt weird and out of character and he had no idea what was going to happen if they just lay down together, next to each other while watching people having sex a few feet away from them on Craig's large computer screen. He had no idea what the whole situation meant either, which was even more distressing. So, in an act of complete defiance against his own natural quirks, he concurred.

"Just put it on."

Craig's grin almost reached his eyes, why was he so happy about them watching porn together was beyond Tweek, and he stretched his body to reach for the mouse.

Tweek almost immediately realized that there wasn't anything special about that particular porn video. The plotline was ridiculous and unnecessary like in every other porn ever made, not that Tweek had watched that many. And the ones he did watch were more of a study in discovering what made him tick. There were two guys and a girl, trapped inside a frigid cellar by a mean gangster? A mob boss? Something like that, Tweek wasn't paying much attention. And, big surprise, they had to fuck in every combination possible in order to survive the frozen conditions of the cellar. Ridiculous. The two guys didn't interact much with each other, something that would have given Tweek a clue about his friend's sexual preferences, but still the way they were encompassing their blonde female fellow prisoner and the way they were communicating, mostly arranging who will do what, well let's just say there was something undeniably sensual in that too. Tweek was starting to get slightly hard so he couldn't help but sneak a peek at Craig to determine if it was affecting him as well.

His jaw dropped to the floor. Craig was lying on the bed, his head and shoulders completely lolled against the wall, and his right hand was buried in the front of his unzipped jeans. He was moving his hand slowly, a lazy rhythm was starting to form in his movements. Craig was touching himself. He was touching himself in front of him and the realization came to Tweek so naturally, so diminishing, so _annihilating_ every doubt, every ambiguity that had ever plagued his mind and his _was_ the hottest thing he had ever seen. Suddenly he was so unbearably hard, watching his 'fake' boyfriend masturbating, tipping his head back against the wall when a particular intense spasm of pleasure was striking him and breathing heavily. Tweek wasn't peeping out of the corner of his eye anymore, he was openly staring. He couldn't see the actual act itself, of course, cause Craig's cock was hidden under his plain white cotton boxers and on top of that he still had his jeans on, albeit completely unbuttoned by then. But then, the tip of Craig's cock broke out of its confinement and appeared at the top of his boxers, red and wet and Tweek pretty much lost it. He probably let out an indecent sound cause Craig, as if sensing his friend's discomfort and his aching arousal, without taking his eyes from the screen said, no more like he commanded.

"Just do it."

It was so eerie, the way Craig knew how his friend was internally agonizing, so Tweek damned the whole thing to hell and unzipped his own pants. When he wrapped his hand around his cock he realized it was already slick with precome, how on earth he hadn't felt that, and it didn't take him long, just six long, calculating strokes and then he was coming inside his underwear all the while staring at Craig while he was finishing himself off. Craig came himself not long after that with a shallow growl just as the video was coming to its end.

They stayed like that for a while after, both keeping their gazes at the black screen, as the next video was loading, their right hands down their pants, panting. And, of course, the reality of the situation crashed Tweek like a tank truck and quickly came as close to a panic attack as he was ever going to get. So he lifted himself from the bed abruptly, arranged his clothes, grabbed his discarded messenger bag and rushed out of Craig's room without sparing him a single glance, just murmuring a quiet goodnight.

* * *

The next day at school was an agony for Tweek. He was trying to avoid Craig as much as he could; not able to even look him in the eye after their wicked activities last night. The only thing he wanted was for the day to be over so he could go at work and wait for Token to drop by during his break. He would know what to do. He spent the whole morning juggling between trying to maintain the least possible interaction with Craig, appearing casual about the whole thing when they did indeed met and keeping himself from punching his friend's lights out, whose permanent apathy was getting more on his nerves than usual. How could he act so callous about the fact that they orgasmed together, their bodies inches apart from one another.

When the final bell of the day rang, he was out of the school building so fast that none of his friends had a chance to talk to him. He went straight to the coffee shop and started doing his daily chores with such an eagerness that surprised even his father.

Finally, the long hours passed and the time for his break came. Tweek had been silently praying that today was not the day that Token decided to skip their regular sessions, so when he spotted his friend coming inside the shop, he threw his apron on the counter and grabbed his arm in order to guide him at the back of the store.

"Hey dude, I'm happy to see you too but could you relax a little, you'll pull my arm out of its socket," Token said when they were outside.

Tweek let go of his friend and he collapsed down on the bench, letting his head fall between his hands.

"O-kay. What's the matter man? You're starting to scare me."

"Something happened," Tweek mumbled between his teeth. "Something horrible!"

"What? Did you tell Craig how you feel and he turned you down?" Token speculated.

"No!" Tweek shouted, lifting his head to stare Token in the eye. "Something far more horrible than that!"

"What? You're driving me crazy man! And calm down!"

Tweek took a long breath as if to follow Token's advice and then he started narrating last night's events. When he was done Token was staring at him dumbfounded, a mix of delight and puzzlement appearing on his expression. "That is awesome dude!" he finally exclaimed. Tweek was looking at him like he had grown another head.

"How exactly is that awesome Token?" he asked "I'm more confused than ever!"

"How can you still be confused man? It sounds to me that you realized for good that not only you like Craig but you are sexually attracted to him as well."

Tweek appeared thoughtful for a moment. "Am I really?"

Token rolled his eyes. "Well what did you do afterwards? Have you been thinking about your...moment at all?"

Tweek blushed "The truth is..." he trailed off, looking embarrassed and flustered "...that I had to wake up twice during the night cause I was so hard I couldn't sleep. I had to...you know, in order to calm myself. And every time I think about it I get instantly aroused, and I feel a chill going through my whole body."

Token grinned "There's your answer, man" he said. "The only thing left now is to tell Craig."

* * *

"Token came by at work today," Tweek said while he was in Craig's bedroom, watching him playing video games. He came by after his shift, determined to confess everything to his friend.

"I know."

Tweek was baffled. "How the hell do you know, man?" he yelped "are you stalking me or something?"

Craig rolled his eyes, without taking his gaze from the screen. "Why would I need to stalk you? We are together practically all the fucking time."

That made sense to Tweek but still it wasn't answering his question "Then how?"

"Your father told me."

Now, Tweek's jaw almost dropped to the floor "What?!"

"He called me a couple of days ago," Craig explained. "He was…" he made a dramatic pause there as if to emphasize the ridiculousness of what was to follow "…concerned because you were spending so much time with 'that rich black guy'. He thinks you are cheating on me with him."

Tweek was fuming. I mean, he knew his father was a lunatic; he had been living with the man for seventeen years but that…that was crossing the line.

He didn't have time to explode though, cause Craig quickly stated "I told him that was impossible and that he should start trusting you more, like I am. Your 'actual' boyfriend." Tweek's heart bumped against his chest. How could Craig handle his outrageous father so much better than he ever did? And he knew his words weren't just for show. He _did_ trust him. Which made Tweek feel guilty for not telling him about his feelings.

"Well, aren't you going to ask me what we have been doing all this time? What we have been _talking_ about?" he enunciated the word talking as if to clear the air once and for all of his father's absurd accusations.

Craig gave him a sideways glance of pure apathy. And then he scoffed "I know what you two are talking about. Token is grinding you more on our thing." That was how Craig vaguely addressed their situation. 'Our thing.'

Again Tweek was surprised with Craig's perceptiveness despite his constant state of aloofness.

"A-And? Aren't you worried that he might have discovered the truth? He is one of the most intelligent guys we know after all."

Craig shrugged "I couldn't care less."

He went back to playing his video game and Tweek thought that was it. He couldn't keep it inside him anymore. In a unique for him moment of courage, he grabbed the controller from Craig's hands, despite his protests, and tossed it aside, clasping his face in his hands and pecking him on the lips. Craig froze and didn't react much but surprised Tweek when it was all over.

"That was nice," he said and Tweek wanted to strangle him right there and then.

"That's all you have to say, man? That it was nice?"

"Well, you kissed me and I liked it, what more am I supposed to say?"

Tweek's breath caught in his throat when he realized what Craig was saying. He liked it? Still, he couldn't get the absurdity of the situation out of his mind.

"But…but, I kissed you!"

"Well, you're my boyfriend. We watch porn together. We masturbate together. Us kissing was bound to happen sometime."

" _Fake_ Boyfriend!"

Craig shrugged like that was the most insignificant detail in the whole wide world "Fake, real, whatever."

Tweek was speechless. He wanted to punch Craig in his stupid blank face and at the same time he wanted to jump his bones, all the time wondering if all that hadn't been an elaborate plan all along. He settled by letting Craig take complete control of their current predicament, since he was acting so nonchalant about it.

"So. What happens now?"

"I suppose we will start kissing more often," he stated like it was the most natural thing reminding Tweek, once again, why he was falling and falling and never wanted to stop falling for this stoic, insufferable, beautiful, dazzling boy.

"Starting now?" he asked and Craig smiled more widely than he had in days.

"Starting now."

* * *

Author's Note: The title is a paraphrased part of a quote by Jane Austen from her novel 'Sense and Sensibility.'


End file.
